The Stand-In

SC

by Evelyn (5-P-3)

Early in my childhood I overheard some grown ups talking about some man, who for some reason or other had masqueraded as a woman. The thought of wearing girl's clothes and pretending to be a girl, gave me a thrill such as I had never had before.

Such thoughts were kept a

dark secret, one that I Boys were not supposed Any hint or suggestion

hardly dared think of myself. to have thoughts of that kind. of a boy showing any signs of femininity in dress or action was severely frowned upon by society in general. My two sisters often dressed in boy's clothes, and were complimented on their boldness and daring, but any suggestion that I wear one of their dresses was regarded with ridicule and horror. To all outward signs, I too, resented any such suggestions, secretly I longed to dress up as a girl and pretend I was one. I did not care to play with dolls or take part in any girlish games, I simply wanted to feel a skirt and other girlish attire about me.

The time eventually came when I did wear a dress. I was alone in the house, and was sure of not being dis- turbed. I hid in the closet and put on one of my sis- ter's dresses. The next time I did it, I became a little bolder and emerged from the closet wearing some lacy underwear beneath the dress. I felt very guilty when I did this and knew it was wrong, but something within me insisted that it had to be done.

As I grew older the urge and desire to "dress up" also grew, and whenever I was alone and the opportun- ity presented itself, I would borrow some of my sister's clothes and become a girl for a short time. I always had a battle with myself at these times, whether I would "dress up" or not. I usually lost the battle and would array myself in what feminine attire I could find and wear.

I was by nature a very shy and bashful boy. I did not make friends easily, and I had few playmates. I

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